During our adoption journey these last few months I have learned quite a bit about domestic (In the US) adoption. I am sure Troy has learned quite a bit as well, but will let him add his thoughts later.
I would love to talk to anyone who is interested in more details about adopting themselves.
First. There are LOTS of kids out there who need homes. There are many older kids especially. There are also quite a few babies especially if you are open to any ethnicity, possible drug/alcohol use and or any special needs. We kind of followed a non traditional way of connecting with our birthmom. Many families who decide to pursue adoption research agencies and sign up with just one of them to handle everything for them. When doing this they let the agency know their preferences if any and then the agency lets them know when chosen by a birthmom who has also selected that specific agency. The way we did it was initially we used an adoption consultant. She educated us quite a bit, helped us with our profile book then recommended a few agencies with little or no up front cost to register with. By reaching out to multiple agencies this expanded the potential expectant moms we could be matched with. Doing it this way was also a bit more challenging because in order for our family profile book to be shown to a birthmom the agency/attorney would have to contact us first each time and make sure we were interested and that we weren't presenting on any others right then as you can only present to one at a time. When you present you are committing 100% to adopting this child if you are chosen. For us this meant presenting 16 times in about 4 months. Sometimes these were babies already born, due any day or due in a few months. This was an exciting time, a stressful time, and a time full of much prayer.
We ended up networking with many other agencies so that I believe at the end we were hearing situations form 10+ sources. Most of the situations (an expecting mom looking for a family to place her baby with) that we presented to were kind of "overflow" cases from the different agencies/adoption attorneys. Typically there were cases that for whatever reason the adoptive parents that had registered with them were not interested. We saw mostly minority children, although not all, a lot of drug use/alcohol use situations and quite a bit of special needs from minor to extreme. When we would hear of a situation we would pray about it and then decide as a couple wether we felt God was leading us to present. This was such a faith building time. There were a few situations that were really scary feeling to us, but after much prayer we both felt there wasn't a clear no, so we presented and left it in Gods hands to decide.
Second thing we realized early on is that you really have to do your homework about many things. There are MANY adoption scams out there. Working with someone reputable can literally save you tens of thousands of dollars. Even working with someone reputable, there will be at risk expenses. Every mom has the right to end the end decide to parent her baby. Depending on the agency/attorney you work with the amount at risk can vary from $1000 to $18k or more. That brings me to the financial aspects. Domestic adoption is expensive! Most situations we saw were between $30,000 and $60,000. The exception to that would be older kids or more severe special needs, in those cases many times total fees were $10,000 or less. The costs really varied from state to state depending on the expenses the birthmom was requesting, rent, food, etc, and if she had medical insurance or not.
If you are being led to pursue adoption I would love to talk with you more.
One free resource if you are starting the process is a facebook group called Adoption situations. There are lots of helpful families and many situations posted there that once you are homestudy ready you can research further.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Monday, November 18, 2013
Thankfulness list continued...
I started this blog originally as a way to keep track of a thankfulness list after reading the book 1000 Gifts. Needless to say I wasn't on tope of it as I didn't get to far, but I love this idea especially in this season as there is just so so much to be thankful for.
23. times of quiet reflection.
24 Gods hand of provision throughout our lives
25 Financial blessing and provision for our adoption costs.
26 spending preciou stime with the birthmom and her foster mom.
27 healthy, beautiful baby girl
28 Favor with nurses at the hospital.
29 Growing, stretching in the times of waiting
30 Blessing of staying with Godly, encouraging friends
31 Time spent with other old friends from far away.
32 Gods hand orchestrating everything in His time and for His Glory and our good...
33 a wonderful husband caring for kids while I am away
34 involved caring grandparents helping out whereever needed
35 kids excited to meet their new baby sister
36 the prayers of many, seeing how God works through them each step of the way...
37 seeing Gods hand at workeach step of the way, a car seat, clothes stc, all with people saying I had meant to give these away sooner, but something held me back...:)
38 loving, sweet birthmom thanking us for giving her baby something she wasn't able to in her situation
39 Gods hand on us and with us through our time at the hospital. Being able to get ahold of the attorney around 10pm at night right away to get through a crisis situation.
40 "Great is thy Faithfulness" on Pandora at just the right times:)
41 knowing and believing God is Faithful.
42 staying on a beautiful lake with a nature path to be able to get out and enjoy Gods creation.
43 loving, supportive friends and family
44 After being told by the attorney not to "mother" the birthmom, the blessing of being asked the final day by the birthmom and foster mom to help hands on with her care.
45 Baby Faith
23. times of quiet reflection.
24 Gods hand of provision throughout our lives
25 Financial blessing and provision for our adoption costs.
26 spending preciou stime with the birthmom and her foster mom.
27 healthy, beautiful baby girl
28 Favor with nurses at the hospital.
29 Growing, stretching in the times of waiting
30 Blessing of staying with Godly, encouraging friends
31 Time spent with other old friends from far away.
32 Gods hand orchestrating everything in His time and for His Glory and our good...
33 a wonderful husband caring for kids while I am away
34 involved caring grandparents helping out whereever needed
35 kids excited to meet their new baby sister
36 the prayers of many, seeing how God works through them each step of the way...
37 seeing Gods hand at workeach step of the way, a car seat, clothes stc, all with people saying I had meant to give these away sooner, but something held me back...:)
38 loving, sweet birthmom thanking us for giving her baby something she wasn't able to in her situation
39 Gods hand on us and with us through our time at the hospital. Being able to get ahold of the attorney around 10pm at night right away to get through a crisis situation.
40 "Great is thy Faithfulness" on Pandora at just the right times:)
41 knowing and believing God is Faithful.
42 staying on a beautiful lake with a nature path to be able to get out and enjoy Gods creation.
43 loving, supportive friends and family
44 After being told by the attorney not to "mother" the birthmom, the blessing of being asked the final day by the birthmom and foster mom to help hands on with her care.
45 Baby Faith
Monday, November 11, 2013
Baby is Here!! WOW what a wild ride...and it isn't over yet. PRAYER REQUESTS TOO!
So the end of last week we got a text from our attorney saying that our expectant mom was scheduled to be induced on Tuesday. So we excitedly got the last of our things packed and ready and flew out Sunday night. We wanted to make sure even if delayed that we would be there for the birth. As the last time we had Skyped with her she had said she would really like us there and in the room with her for the delivery. Once we arrived we found out that we may be able to meet with them on Monday before the delivery. We ended up going to dinner with the expectant mom (EM) and her Foster Mom (FM) and the social worker. We had about an hour and it was great to have a sort of icebreaker before the big day Tuesday. I was surprised at how small the EM was she was very petite and all belly. She was super sweet and shy:) Her FM was nice and very opinionated about various aspects of the plan. She had views and was not afraid to express them. At dinner they asked if we could pick them up at their home the next morning to get to the hospital at 7am. We were both exhausted after taking a red eye the night before and only getting less than 2 hours sleep. So we arranged for a cab for them and planned to meet them at the hospital at 7am.
The next morning the timing was perfect and we arrived at the hospital just as they were getting out of the taxi. We helped them carry their things up to the room. We also met the EM's brother who had come for the day to support her. He was nice and we were able to talk with him at various times throughout the day.
The doctor came around 8:30 and started her on the Pitocin. They asked us to leave the room while they got everything settled. Then the BM's attorney arrived and asked us to stay out of the room a while longer. we just had to roll with the requests. Then around 12 the attorney came to us again and said we should leave the hospital and go to lunch, just to stay within a 15-minute radius. This was a bit disappointing, as I really wanted to be there for the EM. The attorney said she would call us around 3 with an update.
Around 3:30 we got a call saying things still weren’t progressing quickly and we could come back to the hospital for a visit with the EM. We hurried back and went right to her room. At that point they had stopped the Pitocin as they said the babies movements had slowed down quite a bit when she started having some bigger contractions. So the EM was just sitting in her bed, which she had been doing most of the time. she said she really couldn't feel any contractions at that point. The baby’s heartbeat was strong. We stayed in the room with her 30 minutes or so then were asked by the attorney to go to the waiting room. About 5pm the FM came to the waiting room with tears in her eyes saying that they were doing a cesarean. We found out at that point that they had broken her water shortly after starting the Pitocin, and that she really hadn't progressed. Really felt horrible for her having to go through a cesarean at such a young age. We were not able to see her before she went in for surgery, then at 6:47 baby was born. The attorney came to get us just a few minutes after and we went to the nursery window to see her for the first time. She was so tiny and just screaming. then she sucked her fingers in her mouth and settled right down. About 30 minutes later they brought her out to see us for the first time. She was just beautiful perfect in every way. Her scores at birth were 9 and 9. She had quite a thick layer of vernix so the Pediatrician said she was probably about 38 weeks gestation.
Initially our plan with the EM and FM had been for the EM to have one hospital bracelet and for me to have the other. This would allow us unsupervised access to the baby. When the birth happened the hospital gave the bracelets to the EM, now the Birth mom (BM) and the FM. So at that point we had to only be with the baby if she was in the room with the BM. We checked with the hospital about spending the night there and they offered to let us stay in a room about 3 doors down from the BM. We met with the BM attorney again and she strongly advised us to not stay there, but I really felt I needed to. So later that night probably 9 or 10pm The nurses told us as long as we showed picture ID we could be with baby. So at that point Troy visited for a little while then he went back to the hotel which was just a few minutes away to get a good night sleep. I was able to have the baby in my room most f the night, which was an amazing blessing. The first time we had some quiet alone time I was just holding her and talking to her and praying over her and it just felt like we were so connected already. It felt as if my heart was bursting with love for her and for her birth mom who was making this amazing choice.
Troy came back in the morning and we spent the day getting to know the birth mom and her FM. Troy had taken her brother home the night before in our rental car. The birth mom was in so much pain it was really hard to watch. After that first night she was refusing all pain meds. She also, later in the day, kept getting up to walk around to try to recover faster. It was really shocking and hard to watch her go through this, but the whole time she was amazingly strong and kept reaffirming her commitment to her plan. We spent a lot of time that day in their room with baby and she really didn’t want to hold or see baby very much. The FM was the same and just tried to keep her distance from baby but they really wanted us in there with them (I think to see how we were doing with baby). Towards the end of the day she did hold baby, but then when baby started to cry she held the baby to ne and said come get your baby. She said another time that she never really felt like the baby was hers and she felt that was our baby.
She said another time that she never really felt that the baby was hers.
The day was long and we finally went to be around 11 and baby was allowed to be with me again through the night. It was interesting tome how different bottle-feeding was. I am so used to breastfeeding it was awkward to figure out when and how much to feed her. But I was so thankful for that time, Troy slept back at the hotel again. That afternoon also the FM had agreed for me to have the bracelet as the nurses said now that I wasn't allowed to see he baby along without it, so that was great, but the FM wanted me to make sure to not leave the floor for any reason or she wanted the bracelet back...
The third day was spent mostly again all of us in the room with the birth mom and her FM. Troy took the FM home to get a few things, and it was great getting o know them and to hear more of their lives, as sad and hard as it was to hear. At a few points throughout teh day we were able to have time alone with the birthmother and just repeatedly thanked us for giving her baby right now what she wasn't able to. She did around dinnertime also secretly let us know that her FM hadn't had anything to eat that day and she didn;t have any money to buy something, so Troy went and bought a pizza and dropped it off ath their roon. Throughout out hospital stay the nurses had been good to us, but the FM's strong personality and her methods were really building up I think on the nurses and doctors. The care the birth mom was reviving was defiantly below par and the doctors and nurses really did as minimal contact with her as they could. at one point the second day the birth mom was complaining that one of her sides really hurt and they called the nurse in. The Dr. was on the floor so she said she would get him. She came back a few minutes later and said she told the Dr. and he said to just tell her "she is fine". I was shocked to say the least, even the nurse looked a bit embarrassed that the doctor didn’t even come check her. So later that afternoon the FM called me into their room, her knee had been bothering her so she was trying not to walk around a lot. She asked if I could help BM get up out of bed and into the shower. I was so thankful to be able to help. Early on I was told by the attorney to not interfere or try to help the BM as much as I really, really wanted to. She said I needed to respect the FM's mothering, as different as it was to mine:). So up til this point I had just been trying to keep quiet and still and not offer to help unless asked. So I was able to help her shower and help bind her breasts after. But really this was something the nursing staff should have been helping with, but they never did... So tensions continued to build between FM and the staff. That night we were just trying to get to bed at a reasonable hour it was after 10 and we had just gotten into bed. I had asked as it was the last night if Troy could stay at the hospital with me as I was exhausted and could use the help, but really wanted baby to stay with us verses going to the nursery. Anyway Troy had just fallen asleep when there was a knock and our door was opened by grandma who was VERY upset and saying they were leaving the hospital.
So... the next couple hours were a flurry of panicked phone called to both attorneys trying to calm her down and convince her to just stay the night as the attorneys were scheduled to come in the morning anyway. The FM insisted that they needed to leave now or "she would end up going to jail" So she signed forms that against medical advice she was taking her daughter home. This whole time she was still affirming that the baby was still ours, but that they just needed to leave. She said we could come to her house with baby and sleep in her bed and she would sleep on t eh couch. This was something we were very uncomfortable with as Troy has visited their home twice at this point. We tried to convince her to let us stay at the hospital with baby as that was something the hospital agreed to, but she was adamant that if she was leaving we all needed to leave. So about 12:30 it was finally decided that we would all leave and go to a nearby hotel. Our attorney booked us both rooms there. We had to take everyone in our small rental car so they decided that Troy should take them and baby first to the hotel then leave them there with baby then come back to the hotel to pick me up. At this point I was so scared that when we got to the hotel they would end up keeping baby, but as with the past three days I just had to go along with their plans as much as it was scary. There were many, many, many prayers being said though. So that was what happened. It was after 1am when Troy came back to pick me up, as soon as we pulled to the hotel though we got a phone call before I was even out of the car from the F saying "come get your baby" she was fussy and wanted me:). WHAT a relief I didn't unload anything just went as fast as I could to their room. Then at that point after 1:30am now, she wanted to say all her goodbyes and take pictures:) I can only imagine what our faces look like at that point...
We got to our room around 2am and quickly fell asleep.
The next morning the attorneys were scheduled to come at 10:30. We got a call saying they were delayed and it wouldn't be until 11:30. Around 11:45 I got a call from the FM she said "Lorene honey I have some bad news.....long pause..."we love you guys HAHAHAHAHA!" needless to say I didn't think it was funny at the time:) then she sent a text a few minutes later that she was still laughing and wished she could have seen my face... this was pretty similar to to things that had gone on all during our stay, just a very different personality. So then around 12:30 we heard the attorneys were meeting with them signing papers. About 15 minutes later they came to our room and said it was all done. Then a few minutes later the BM and FM came to our room for the adoption ceremony and to really say their good byes.
Wow this is all so much harder to write then I thought it would be...
Going into adoption you hear what a powerful, emotional, difficult process it is, but until you have walked through it is so much bigger than anything I could have imagined or expected.
Our attorney wanted to video the ceremony and took pictures throughout, nut sure when we will be able to watch it, but I am sure someday it will be good to share with Faith. The Birth mom had a teddy bear that talked and although it sounds kind of corny it was some beautiful words about adoption. Then Troy and I had a letter prepared to share with her. Even before Troy started reading we all were crying. I gave the Birthmother a customized necklace I had made just for her.It was a hugely powerful, emotional time for all of us. Then we took some more pictures and everyone hugged a lot and then it was over. Our attorney met with us to go over a few more lingering details and we would appreciate your continued prayers about these aspects.
At this point the birthfather is "unnamed" so there is a legal process that has to be taken to terminate his parental rights. M understanding is that this process takes 7-10 business days. So there is a small chance that the birthfather will not want to terminate his rights at that point then the court will have to make a decision. Our understanding is that if he has not been involved up until this point there would be a very small chance that he would be able to keep his parental rights.
Secondly Troy flew home Saturday to be with the rest of the kids at home. Please pray for him extra measures of patience and energy. Lastly I am still in Florida with baby Faith, staying with some wonderful friends of ours, and so thankful for them. I cannot leave the state with the baby until the paperwork clears which at this point is estimated to be about a week and a half more. I would love to get home sooner. Please pray that this ICPC paperwork can be expedited in some way.
Lastly unrelated, but related, Troy is home now and last night there is an issue with a drunk neighbor and the police were called multiple times. Troy and kids are all ok, just shaken up. Please prayer for wisdom for Troy and safety for them all.
We so appreciate your prayers through every step of this process. We saw God at work so many times. Faith is doing great she is eating well, growing and sleeping really well for a newborn:) Also another small blessing is that with the timing of weaning Sam form nursing I was able to rebuild my supply and I am able to breastfeed her which is great for bonding and extra health benefits too.
Thank you again for reading this long rambling, I think I could have written pages more, but this gives you an idea. We are so in love with this precious new daughter and can't wait for you all to meet her!
The next morning the timing was perfect and we arrived at the hospital just as they were getting out of the taxi. We helped them carry their things up to the room. We also met the EM's brother who had come for the day to support her. He was nice and we were able to talk with him at various times throughout the day.
The doctor came around 8:30 and started her on the Pitocin. They asked us to leave the room while they got everything settled. Then the BM's attorney arrived and asked us to stay out of the room a while longer. we just had to roll with the requests. Then around 12 the attorney came to us again and said we should leave the hospital and go to lunch, just to stay within a 15-minute radius. This was a bit disappointing, as I really wanted to be there for the EM. The attorney said she would call us around 3 with an update.
Around 3:30 we got a call saying things still weren’t progressing quickly and we could come back to the hospital for a visit with the EM. We hurried back and went right to her room. At that point they had stopped the Pitocin as they said the babies movements had slowed down quite a bit when she started having some bigger contractions. So the EM was just sitting in her bed, which she had been doing most of the time. she said she really couldn't feel any contractions at that point. The baby’s heartbeat was strong. We stayed in the room with her 30 minutes or so then were asked by the attorney to go to the waiting room. About 5pm the FM came to the waiting room with tears in her eyes saying that they were doing a cesarean. We found out at that point that they had broken her water shortly after starting the Pitocin, and that she really hadn't progressed. Really felt horrible for her having to go through a cesarean at such a young age. We were not able to see her before she went in for surgery, then at 6:47 baby was born. The attorney came to get us just a few minutes after and we went to the nursery window to see her for the first time. She was so tiny and just screaming. then she sucked her fingers in her mouth and settled right down. About 30 minutes later they brought her out to see us for the first time. She was just beautiful perfect in every way. Her scores at birth were 9 and 9. She had quite a thick layer of vernix so the Pediatrician said she was probably about 38 weeks gestation.
Initially our plan with the EM and FM had been for the EM to have one hospital bracelet and for me to have the other. This would allow us unsupervised access to the baby. When the birth happened the hospital gave the bracelets to the EM, now the Birth mom (BM) and the FM. So at that point we had to only be with the baby if she was in the room with the BM. We checked with the hospital about spending the night there and they offered to let us stay in a room about 3 doors down from the BM. We met with the BM attorney again and she strongly advised us to not stay there, but I really felt I needed to. So later that night probably 9 or 10pm The nurses told us as long as we showed picture ID we could be with baby. So at that point Troy visited for a little while then he went back to the hotel which was just a few minutes away to get a good night sleep. I was able to have the baby in my room most f the night, which was an amazing blessing. The first time we had some quiet alone time I was just holding her and talking to her and praying over her and it just felt like we were so connected already. It felt as if my heart was bursting with love for her and for her birth mom who was making this amazing choice.
Troy came back in the morning and we spent the day getting to know the birth mom and her FM. Troy had taken her brother home the night before in our rental car. The birth mom was in so much pain it was really hard to watch. After that first night she was refusing all pain meds. She also, later in the day, kept getting up to walk around to try to recover faster. It was really shocking and hard to watch her go through this, but the whole time she was amazingly strong and kept reaffirming her commitment to her plan. We spent a lot of time that day in their room with baby and she really didn’t want to hold or see baby very much. The FM was the same and just tried to keep her distance from baby but they really wanted us in there with them (I think to see how we were doing with baby). Towards the end of the day she did hold baby, but then when baby started to cry she held the baby to ne and said come get your baby. She said another time that she never really felt like the baby was hers and she felt that was our baby.
She said another time that she never really felt that the baby was hers.
The day was long and we finally went to be around 11 and baby was allowed to be with me again through the night. It was interesting tome how different bottle-feeding was. I am so used to breastfeeding it was awkward to figure out when and how much to feed her. But I was so thankful for that time, Troy slept back at the hotel again. That afternoon also the FM had agreed for me to have the bracelet as the nurses said now that I wasn't allowed to see he baby along without it, so that was great, but the FM wanted me to make sure to not leave the floor for any reason or she wanted the bracelet back...
The third day was spent mostly again all of us in the room with the birth mom and her FM. Troy took the FM home to get a few things, and it was great getting o know them and to hear more of their lives, as sad and hard as it was to hear. At a few points throughout teh day we were able to have time alone with the birthmother and just repeatedly thanked us for giving her baby right now what she wasn't able to. She did around dinnertime also secretly let us know that her FM hadn't had anything to eat that day and she didn;t have any money to buy something, so Troy went and bought a pizza and dropped it off ath their roon. Throughout out hospital stay the nurses had been good to us, but the FM's strong personality and her methods were really building up I think on the nurses and doctors. The care the birth mom was reviving was defiantly below par and the doctors and nurses really did as minimal contact with her as they could. at one point the second day the birth mom was complaining that one of her sides really hurt and they called the nurse in. The Dr. was on the floor so she said she would get him. She came back a few minutes later and said she told the Dr. and he said to just tell her "she is fine". I was shocked to say the least, even the nurse looked a bit embarrassed that the doctor didn’t even come check her. So later that afternoon the FM called me into their room, her knee had been bothering her so she was trying not to walk around a lot. She asked if I could help BM get up out of bed and into the shower. I was so thankful to be able to help. Early on I was told by the attorney to not interfere or try to help the BM as much as I really, really wanted to. She said I needed to respect the FM's mothering, as different as it was to mine:). So up til this point I had just been trying to keep quiet and still and not offer to help unless asked. So I was able to help her shower and help bind her breasts after. But really this was something the nursing staff should have been helping with, but they never did... So tensions continued to build between FM and the staff. That night we were just trying to get to bed at a reasonable hour it was after 10 and we had just gotten into bed. I had asked as it was the last night if Troy could stay at the hospital with me as I was exhausted and could use the help, but really wanted baby to stay with us verses going to the nursery. Anyway Troy had just fallen asleep when there was a knock and our door was opened by grandma who was VERY upset and saying they were leaving the hospital.
So... the next couple hours were a flurry of panicked phone called to both attorneys trying to calm her down and convince her to just stay the night as the attorneys were scheduled to come in the morning anyway. The FM insisted that they needed to leave now or "she would end up going to jail" So she signed forms that against medical advice she was taking her daughter home. This whole time she was still affirming that the baby was still ours, but that they just needed to leave. She said we could come to her house with baby and sleep in her bed and she would sleep on t eh couch. This was something we were very uncomfortable with as Troy has visited their home twice at this point. We tried to convince her to let us stay at the hospital with baby as that was something the hospital agreed to, but she was adamant that if she was leaving we all needed to leave. So about 12:30 it was finally decided that we would all leave and go to a nearby hotel. Our attorney booked us both rooms there. We had to take everyone in our small rental car so they decided that Troy should take them and baby first to the hotel then leave them there with baby then come back to the hotel to pick me up. At this point I was so scared that when we got to the hotel they would end up keeping baby, but as with the past three days I just had to go along with their plans as much as it was scary. There were many, many, many prayers being said though. So that was what happened. It was after 1am when Troy came back to pick me up, as soon as we pulled to the hotel though we got a phone call before I was even out of the car from the F saying "come get your baby" she was fussy and wanted me:). WHAT a relief I didn't unload anything just went as fast as I could to their room. Then at that point after 1:30am now, she wanted to say all her goodbyes and take pictures:) I can only imagine what our faces look like at that point...
We got to our room around 2am and quickly fell asleep.
The next morning the attorneys were scheduled to come at 10:30. We got a call saying they were delayed and it wouldn't be until 11:30. Around 11:45 I got a call from the FM she said "Lorene honey I have some bad news.....long pause..."we love you guys HAHAHAHAHA!" needless to say I didn't think it was funny at the time:) then she sent a text a few minutes later that she was still laughing and wished she could have seen my face... this was pretty similar to to things that had gone on all during our stay, just a very different personality. So then around 12:30 we heard the attorneys were meeting with them signing papers. About 15 minutes later they came to our room and said it was all done. Then a few minutes later the BM and FM came to our room for the adoption ceremony and to really say their good byes.
Wow this is all so much harder to write then I thought it would be...
Going into adoption you hear what a powerful, emotional, difficult process it is, but until you have walked through it is so much bigger than anything I could have imagined or expected.
Our attorney wanted to video the ceremony and took pictures throughout, nut sure when we will be able to watch it, but I am sure someday it will be good to share with Faith. The Birth mom had a teddy bear that talked and although it sounds kind of corny it was some beautiful words about adoption. Then Troy and I had a letter prepared to share with her. Even before Troy started reading we all were crying. I gave the Birthmother a customized necklace I had made just for her.It was a hugely powerful, emotional time for all of us. Then we took some more pictures and everyone hugged a lot and then it was over. Our attorney met with us to go over a few more lingering details and we would appreciate your continued prayers about these aspects.
At this point the birthfather is "unnamed" so there is a legal process that has to be taken to terminate his parental rights. M understanding is that this process takes 7-10 business days. So there is a small chance that the birthfather will not want to terminate his rights at that point then the court will have to make a decision. Our understanding is that if he has not been involved up until this point there would be a very small chance that he would be able to keep his parental rights.
Secondly Troy flew home Saturday to be with the rest of the kids at home. Please pray for him extra measures of patience and energy. Lastly I am still in Florida with baby Faith, staying with some wonderful friends of ours, and so thankful for them. I cannot leave the state with the baby until the paperwork clears which at this point is estimated to be about a week and a half more. I would love to get home sooner. Please pray that this ICPC paperwork can be expedited in some way.
Lastly unrelated, but related, Troy is home now and last night there is an issue with a drunk neighbor and the police were called multiple times. Troy and kids are all ok, just shaken up. Please prayer for wisdom for Troy and safety for them all.
We so appreciate your prayers through every step of this process. We saw God at work so many times. Faith is doing great she is eating well, growing and sleeping really well for a newborn:) Also another small blessing is that with the timing of weaning Sam form nursing I was able to rebuild my supply and I am able to breastfeed her which is great for bonding and extra health benefits too.
Thank you again for reading this long rambling, I think I could have written pages more, but this gives you an idea. We are so in love with this precious new daughter and can't wait for you all to meet her!
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Adoption Update- God is Providing!
Just wanted to share a bit more about a few aspects where we have seen Gods hand of provision through this journey.
Initially when considering moms to present to we were concerned about travel distance, cost of flights having to stay at a hotel for 2 weeks etc. Early on we met a man who ministers to adoptive families by providing greatly reduced cost airline tickets for last minute flights. Once we had been matched with this expecting mom in Fl. We found out we had a place to stay. About 8 years ago we moved to California from Maine. I lived in Maine for 10 years and Troy had lived there his whole life. The church I we attended while there was AMAZING. There were two co-pastors at the church who both have since moved away. But we found out that one of these Godly men and his wife live about an hour away from the hospital where the baby is to be born. Also the wonderful couple who sang at our wedding lives very close to the area as well, and another family we knew well at the church in Maine is planning an unrelated visit to the area the first week of November so we may be able to see them as well. A Maine Church family reunion in Florida. So the pastor and his wife have graciously offered to let baby and I stay there while we wait out the ICPC paperwork to clear, which could be about 2 weeks.
We sent out a request for help with funding our adoption a couple weeks ago. At that time with our own savings, we sold our tent trailer, etc we had raised about $10k. The total amount, not including travel expenses will be about $27k. So we had about $17k left to go. In that short amount of time we have received donations totaling $12,000!!!!!! We are just $5000 away from our goal!
If you would like to partner with us to help cover this last bit details are here.
Making a Donation
We are using Lifesong for Orphans, which is a 501c3 tax exempt organization to receive donations on our behalf. Lifesong retains full discretion over your donation, but intends to honor your suggested use, which is for our adoption fund. Lifesong has been blessed with a partner that underwrites all U.S. administrative and fund-raising costs; TMG Foundation and others, which means 100% of your donation goes to the adoption.
When donating by check, make checks payable to “Lifesong for Orphans. In the memo, note “family account number: #3765” and “family name: FOSTER” to assure it goes to the correct account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744.
Another option is to give online CLICK HERE by selecting Give to an Adoptive Family and then complete the online form using 3765 as the Family Account Number and Foster as Family Name. *Please note that your donation is decreased by 2.9% + $.30 USD when using PayPal.*
*Individual donations of $250 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $250 will gladly be sent upon request.* In order to have your contribution be tax deductible, do not use the paypal link on this page- go to the Lifesong site as directed above. If you do not care about that aspect feel free to use this link.
**As 2013 draws to a close, you may have wish to give before yearend in order to report on 2013 taxes. In order to do so, please be sure to have your check postmarked by December 31.
We did just hear from our attorney that so far our expectant mom is not having contractions and the doctor feels like it will still be another week or so even though her due date was 10-28.
We so appreciate your prayers.
Please join us in praying for her, for her heart and mind these last days, for her unborn baby, for a safe labor and delivery.
Please join us in praying for the timing, at this point we are waiting for a call that she is in labor and then we will leave. Most likely if this happens we will not be there for the birth with travel time, she and her foster mom would really like us to be there as soon as possible, ideally for the birth. Please pray for Gods hand in the timing. If we are not able to be there right away that He would be there giving her peace in the waiting.
We also have a few of the rice neck warmers/heat/cold packs still available. They were made lightly scented with 2 different natural oil scents Lavender and Lemon Eucalyptus. We also have smaller boo boo bags for kids or smaller areas. These rice bags are great for the freezer for a cold pack when you have a sore spot or for a forehead when you have a fever. They are also microwavable for heatpacks. We are asking for a suggested donation amount of $7 each or 2 for $10, or the kids small size are 3 for $10. They are handmade by our friends and family. If you are local you can pick them up or contact me about possibly delivery in Redding if you buy multiple packs. There are a variety of prints available you can choose from if you pick up locally. These make great Christmas gifts and Christmas will be here before you know it. Scroll down to a previous post for pictures.
Thanks and hopefully my next post will be a baby update!
Initially when considering moms to present to we were concerned about travel distance, cost of flights having to stay at a hotel for 2 weeks etc. Early on we met a man who ministers to adoptive families by providing greatly reduced cost airline tickets for last minute flights. Once we had been matched with this expecting mom in Fl. We found out we had a place to stay. About 8 years ago we moved to California from Maine. I lived in Maine for 10 years and Troy had lived there his whole life. The church I we attended while there was AMAZING. There were two co-pastors at the church who both have since moved away. But we found out that one of these Godly men and his wife live about an hour away from the hospital where the baby is to be born. Also the wonderful couple who sang at our wedding lives very close to the area as well, and another family we knew well at the church in Maine is planning an unrelated visit to the area the first week of November so we may be able to see them as well. A Maine Church family reunion in Florida. So the pastor and his wife have graciously offered to let baby and I stay there while we wait out the ICPC paperwork to clear, which could be about 2 weeks.
We sent out a request for help with funding our adoption a couple weeks ago. At that time with our own savings, we sold our tent trailer, etc we had raised about $10k. The total amount, not including travel expenses will be about $27k. So we had about $17k left to go. In that short amount of time we have received donations totaling $12,000!!!!!! We are just $5000 away from our goal!
If you would like to partner with us to help cover this last bit details are here.
Making a Donation
We are using Lifesong for Orphans, which is a 501c3 tax exempt organization to receive donations on our behalf. Lifesong retains full discretion over your donation, but intends to honor your suggested use, which is for our adoption fund. Lifesong has been blessed with a partner that underwrites all U.S. administrative and fund-raising costs; TMG Foundation and others, which means 100% of your donation goes to the adoption.
When donating by check, make checks payable to “Lifesong for Orphans. In the memo, note “family account number: #3765” and “family name: FOSTER” to assure it goes to the correct account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744.
Another option is to give online CLICK HERE by selecting Give to an Adoptive Family and then complete the online form using 3765 as the Family Account Number and Foster as Family Name. *Please note that your donation is decreased by 2.9% + $.30 USD when using PayPal.*
*Individual donations of $250 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $250 will gladly be sent upon request.* In order to have your contribution be tax deductible, do not use the paypal link on this page- go to the Lifesong site as directed above. If you do not care about that aspect feel free to use this link.
**As 2013 draws to a close, you may have wish to give before yearend in order to report on 2013 taxes. In order to do so, please be sure to have your check postmarked by December 31.
We did just hear from our attorney that so far our expectant mom is not having contractions and the doctor feels like it will still be another week or so even though her due date was 10-28.
We so appreciate your prayers.
Please join us in praying for her, for her heart and mind these last days, for her unborn baby, for a safe labor and delivery.
Please join us in praying for the timing, at this point we are waiting for a call that she is in labor and then we will leave. Most likely if this happens we will not be there for the birth with travel time, she and her foster mom would really like us to be there as soon as possible, ideally for the birth. Please pray for Gods hand in the timing. If we are not able to be there right away that He would be there giving her peace in the waiting.
We also have a few of the rice neck warmers/heat/cold packs still available. They were made lightly scented with 2 different natural oil scents Lavender and Lemon Eucalyptus. We also have smaller boo boo bags for kids or smaller areas. These rice bags are great for the freezer for a cold pack when you have a sore spot or for a forehead when you have a fever. They are also microwavable for heatpacks. We are asking for a suggested donation amount of $7 each or 2 for $10, or the kids small size are 3 for $10. They are handmade by our friends and family. If you are local you can pick them up or contact me about possibly delivery in Redding if you buy multiple packs. There are a variety of prints available you can choose from if you pick up locally. These make great Christmas gifts and Christmas will be here before you know it. Scroll down to a previous post for pictures.
Thanks and hopefully my next post will be a baby update!
Friday, October 18, 2013
Grace-
Grace- Defined as "the free and unmerited favor of God"
At our wedding we all sang the Hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness" That has been a constant theme running through our lives and our adoption journey.
We sent out some letters last week asking for help funding our adoption. We have saved up a bit and still have a good amount left to raise. When we have a tight budget already, thinking about these amounts seem daunting and unachievable. Then yesterday I got a text from a friend saying she had some good news for us. Then she called to say that she had shared our letter with a friend who was willing to help us with the funding. The amount he is willing to donate FAR surpassed anything we could imagined or expected, and he doesn't even know our family! Totally in shock and awe of Gods Grace and Faithfulness to us. Feeling overwhelmed and blessed. Humbled and unworthy.
We also had the opportunity to skype with this sweet expecting mom today. It was so hard to see her and not be able to hug her and touch her.... She is timid and hesitant, and rightfully so, there have been 2 families before us who have met with her and committed to her and her baby and then later backed out. She is afraid that we will do the same. We have said we are committed 100% to love her and her baby. But will you please join is in praying for peace for her in this time. She has way more on her mind then anyone should have to handle at once. We are trying to think of ways we can clearly show our feelings for her over the coming weeks, trying to not overwhelm her, but at the same time show we care and that we are 100% for her and baby.
Please join us in praying for her, for her heart and mind these last few weeks, for her unborn baby, for a safe labor and delivery.
Please join us in praying for the timing, at this point we are waiting for a call that she is in labor and then we will leave. Most likely if this happens we will not be there for the birth with travel time, she and her foster mom would really like us to be there as soon as possible, ideally for the birth. Please pray for Gods hand in the timing. If we are not able to be there right away that He would be there giving her peace in the waiting.
Please, if you are willing to partner with us financially details are HERE on how you can make a tax deductible gift. Or if you aren't concerned with that aspect there is a link on the top right to give also.
At our wedding we all sang the Hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness" That has been a constant theme running through our lives and our adoption journey.
We sent out some letters last week asking for help funding our adoption. We have saved up a bit and still have a good amount left to raise. When we have a tight budget already, thinking about these amounts seem daunting and unachievable. Then yesterday I got a text from a friend saying she had some good news for us. Then she called to say that she had shared our letter with a friend who was willing to help us with the funding. The amount he is willing to donate FAR surpassed anything we could imagined or expected, and he doesn't even know our family! Totally in shock and awe of Gods Grace and Faithfulness to us. Feeling overwhelmed and blessed. Humbled and unworthy.
We also had the opportunity to skype with this sweet expecting mom today. It was so hard to see her and not be able to hug her and touch her.... She is timid and hesitant, and rightfully so, there have been 2 families before us who have met with her and committed to her and her baby and then later backed out. She is afraid that we will do the same. We have said we are committed 100% to love her and her baby. But will you please join is in praying for peace for her in this time. She has way more on her mind then anyone should have to handle at once. We are trying to think of ways we can clearly show our feelings for her over the coming weeks, trying to not overwhelm her, but at the same time show we care and that we are 100% for her and baby.
Please join us in praying for her, for her heart and mind these last few weeks, for her unborn baby, for a safe labor and delivery.
Please join us in praying for the timing, at this point we are waiting for a call that she is in labor and then we will leave. Most likely if this happens we will not be there for the birth with travel time, she and her foster mom would really like us to be there as soon as possible, ideally for the birth. Please pray for Gods hand in the timing. If we are not able to be there right away that He would be there giving her peace in the waiting.
Please, if you are willing to partner with us financially details are HERE on how you can make a tax deductible gift. Or if you aren't concerned with that aspect there is a link on the top right to give also.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Our Dishwasher Broke...and more :)
So we are getting so close to being able to go and meet this precious expecting mom. We are waiting for a call any day saying she is in labor and then we will jump on a plane and head to Florida. We are super excited that we get to "meet" her for the first time this friday morning via skype. She has a doctor apointment just before that so hoping for some good updates on baby as well. It is such a strange feeling to be getting everything ready for a baby that is not even yours yet...
On to last night... The dishwasher started making a very loud noise when I started to run it. I am used to loud noises in our house...lol so I let it run. My wonderful, responsible husband though was not so inclined. He said to shut it off he was concerned about the engine blowing, a fire etc... I was concerned about having to wash all the dishes by hand... So he emailed a friend who fixes appliances. Then this morning I hadn't heard anything so I checked with a friend whose husband does repairs as well, he would call me back but she mentioned cleaning out the filter. We had done that a couple times, but it had been awhile, but it was a really loud noise. I also talked to a repair company who said it would be $69 to come out to look at it. Then parts and labor on top of that. In wanting to save money right now for the adoption we don't have a lot of extra, so I decided at nap time along with my trusty assistant John, to clean the filters.
Low and behold we found..along with some yucky yucky stuff a large drywall nail stuck in the filter. How in the world? Long story short we skillfully removed it and the dishwasher is now working fine. Yeah!- even in little insignificant things God is looking out for us.
We still would love for your help during this time. There are 3 basic ways:
1 Prayer- For this expecting mom and her baby. For the labor and delivery. For our travel and our kids with family back home. For our finances.
2, If you are local Buy a handmade neckwarmer Details here http://frogmama.blogspot.com/2013/10/look-fundraiser-homemade-neckwarmerheat.html
3. Donate :) We have partnered with Lifesong for Orphans. If you donate through them your donation is tax deductable! Details here http://frogmama.blogspot.com/2013/10/we-need-your-help.html or if you don't care about that you can donate using the link on the top right to just donate directly to us through paypal.
On to last night... The dishwasher started making a very loud noise when I started to run it. I am used to loud noises in our house...lol so I let it run. My wonderful, responsible husband though was not so inclined. He said to shut it off he was concerned about the engine blowing, a fire etc... I was concerned about having to wash all the dishes by hand... So he emailed a friend who fixes appliances. Then this morning I hadn't heard anything so I checked with a friend whose husband does repairs as well, he would call me back but she mentioned cleaning out the filter. We had done that a couple times, but it had been awhile, but it was a really loud noise. I also talked to a repair company who said it would be $69 to come out to look at it. Then parts and labor on top of that. In wanting to save money right now for the adoption we don't have a lot of extra, so I decided at nap time along with my trusty assistant John, to clean the filters.
Low and behold we found..along with some yucky yucky stuff a large drywall nail stuck in the filter. How in the world? Long story short we skillfully removed it and the dishwasher is now working fine. Yeah!- even in little insignificant things God is looking out for us.
We still would love for your help during this time. There are 3 basic ways:
1 Prayer- For this expecting mom and her baby. For the labor and delivery. For our travel and our kids with family back home. For our finances.
2, If you are local Buy a handmade neckwarmer Details here http://frogmama.blogspot.com/2013/10/look-fundraiser-homemade-neckwarmerheat.html
3. Donate :) We have partnered with Lifesong for Orphans. If you donate through them your donation is tax deductable! Details here http://frogmama.blogspot.com/2013/10/we-need-your-help.html or if you don't care about that you can donate using the link on the top right to just donate directly to us through paypal.
Sunday, October 13, 2013
LOOK!!! Fundraiser- Homemade Neckwarmer/Heat packs for sale- GREAT for Christmas gifts!!!
We selling rice neck warmers/heat/cold packs. They were made lightly scented with 2 different natural oil scents Lavender and Lemon Eucalyptus. We also have smaller boo boo bags for kids or smaller areas. These rice bags are great for the freezer for a cold pack when you have a sore spot or for a forehead when you have a fever. They are also microwavable for heatpacks. We are asking for a suggested donation amount of $7 each or 2 for $10, or the kids small size are 3 for $10. They are handmade by our friends and family. If you are local you can pick them up or contact me about possibly delivery in Redding if you buy multiple packs. There are a variety of prints available you can choose from if you pick up locally. These make great Christmas gifts and Christmas will be here before you know it. If you are local and would like to just pay us directly instead of through paypal please just call me to set up a time to come by. (530)921-8855 or email me at lorene@frogmama.com Here are some examples of some of the available fabrics:)
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
We need your help!
October 9, 2013
Dear Family and Friends,
As you may know we have been led by God to adopt a child into our family. We are adopting a baby girl sometime around the beginning of November. Troy and I will be traveling to Florida to meet the Birthmother and baby shortly after she is born. As a family, we’ve been praying for this sweet young mother and baby for the last few weeks. We are excited for the possibility that she will place her baby with our family.
What has prompted us to adopt?
Primarily, we’ve felt so clearly directed by God to adopt, that we want to obey Him. We also desire to give a child a permanent Christian family that she probably wouldn’t otherwise have. God desires for orphans of all nations to be loved, cared for, and adopted into Christian families—ultimately so they can become saved and adopted into His eternal family through Jesus Christ.
There are over 147 million orphans worldwide and 120,000 children currently in the U.S. foster care system. It is estimated that less than 10 percent of these children are adopted into evangelical Christian families.
The biggest challenge is not opening our hearts and home to another child, but it is finding the finances to make this happen. The estimated total cost for the adoption is $27,000. That’s certainly money we don’t have, but we know God is faithful and is leading us to trust Him. By God’s grace we’ve been able to pay the initial $10,000.
Honestly it’s a little difficult (because of our pride) to make our needs known to the body of Christ, but we realize it is biblical to do so. Your friendship and support are greatly appreciated. We would like to ask you to pray and consider helping us in one or two ways with our adoption.
1. Please pray for this sweet young expecting mom and baby’s health in these last few weeks of pregnancy and pray for a smooth and uncomplicated delivery. Please pray that her heart and soul will move closer to God as we show Gods love to her through our words and actions.
2. Will you please consider making a tax-deductible donation to help cover the remaining $17,000 adoption expenses? Our goal date is December 9, but funds will be accepted until our adoption is complete.
Making a Donation
We are using Lifesong for Orphans, which is a 501c3 tax exempt organization to receive donations on our behalf. Lifesong retains full discretion over your donation, but intends to honor your suggested use, which is for our adoption fund. Lifesong has been blessed with a partner that underwrites all U.S. administrative and fund-raising costs; TMG Foundation and others, which means 100% of your donation goes to the adoption.
When donating by check, make checks payable to “Lifesong for Orphans. In the memo, note “family account number: #3765” and “family name: FOSTER” to assure it goes to the correct account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744.
Another option is to give online CLICK HERE by selecting Give to an Adoptive Family and then complete the online form using 3765 as the Family Account Number and Foster as Family Name. *Please note that your donation is decreased by 2.9% + $.30 USD when using PayPal.*
We thank you so much for investing in the Kingdom through prayer and finances—it will be an investment with an eternal return! We’ll give you an update with a picture of Baby Faith and details as we receive them. Please pray this entire process will glorify God and fulfill His purposes.
*Individual donations of $250 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $250 will gladly be sent upon request.* In order to have your contribution be tax deductible, do not use the paypal link on this page- go to the Lifesong site as directed above. If you do not care about that aspect feel free to use this link.
Sincerely,
The Fosters
Dear Family and Friends,
As you may know we have been led by God to adopt a child into our family. We are adopting a baby girl sometime around the beginning of November. Troy and I will be traveling to Florida to meet the Birthmother and baby shortly after she is born. As a family, we’ve been praying for this sweet young mother and baby for the last few weeks. We are excited for the possibility that she will place her baby with our family.
What has prompted us to adopt?
Primarily, we’ve felt so clearly directed by God to adopt, that we want to obey Him. We also desire to give a child a permanent Christian family that she probably wouldn’t otherwise have. God desires for orphans of all nations to be loved, cared for, and adopted into Christian families—ultimately so they can become saved and adopted into His eternal family through Jesus Christ.
There are over 147 million orphans worldwide and 120,000 children currently in the U.S. foster care system. It is estimated that less than 10 percent of these children are adopted into evangelical Christian families.
The biggest challenge is not opening our hearts and home to another child, but it is finding the finances to make this happen. The estimated total cost for the adoption is $27,000. That’s certainly money we don’t have, but we know God is faithful and is leading us to trust Him. By God’s grace we’ve been able to pay the initial $10,000.
Honestly it’s a little difficult (because of our pride) to make our needs known to the body of Christ, but we realize it is biblical to do so. Your friendship and support are greatly appreciated. We would like to ask you to pray and consider helping us in one or two ways with our adoption.
1. Please pray for this sweet young expecting mom and baby’s health in these last few weeks of pregnancy and pray for a smooth and uncomplicated delivery. Please pray that her heart and soul will move closer to God as we show Gods love to her through our words and actions.
2. Will you please consider making a tax-deductible donation to help cover the remaining $17,000 adoption expenses? Our goal date is December 9, but funds will be accepted until our adoption is complete.
Making a Donation
We are using Lifesong for Orphans, which is a 501c3 tax exempt organization to receive donations on our behalf. Lifesong retains full discretion over your donation, but intends to honor your suggested use, which is for our adoption fund. Lifesong has been blessed with a partner that underwrites all U.S. administrative and fund-raising costs; TMG Foundation and others, which means 100% of your donation goes to the adoption.
When donating by check, make checks payable to “Lifesong for Orphans. In the memo, note “family account number: #3765” and “family name: FOSTER” to assure it goes to the correct account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744.
Another option is to give online CLICK HERE by selecting Give to an Adoptive Family and then complete the online form using 3765 as the Family Account Number and Foster as Family Name. *Please note that your donation is decreased by 2.9% + $.30 USD when using PayPal.*
We thank you so much for investing in the Kingdom through prayer and finances—it will be an investment with an eternal return! We’ll give you an update with a picture of Baby Faith and details as we receive them. Please pray this entire process will glorify God and fulfill His purposes.
*Individual donations of $250 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $250 will gladly be sent upon request.* In order to have your contribution be tax deductible, do not use the paypal link on this page- go to the Lifesong site as directed above. If you do not care about that aspect feel free to use this link.
Sincerely,
The Fosters
Saturday, October 5, 2013
We are matched!!!
So there go my plans for keeping this blog updated often... oh well... Since my last post so much has happened. One by one we presented to 16 different expecting moms and each time after praying and waiting heard a "No". This was a HUGE emotional roller coaster ride as sometimes the baby was already born or due very soon, so if chosen it would have meant getting everything ready for baby super fast. Also with praying for each of these moms and their babies you start, on some level, to form a heart connection, even if it is only one sided. So when you then hear they select someone else it was hard.
Fast forward to a couple weeks ago. We had another "situation" as they are called. a young 17 year old expecting mom in FL having a baby girl due in October. We presented and waited and prayed and then in a few days heard "No" not us, another family was chosen. We we continued on. Then a few days later we received an email saying that the couple that had been chosen had backed out for some personal reasons. Were we still interested in presenting? We Thought and Prayed about it and decided to go ahead. Then we waited...and waited... and waited... usually you hear back in a few days. This time it was over a week... Then Thursday night we got the news "Yes"! We had been chosen! We are all so excited!!
Now begins a new step of the journey. The baby still isn't "for sure" joining our family. After the expecting mom has her baby, she will then have 24-48 hours to decide if she wants to parent. If at that point she still decides to place her baby for adoption, then we will be the family. At this point our plan is for Troy and I to be at the hospital shortly after the baby is born. If she decides to parent then we would fly back home. If she decides to place her baby with us then Troy would fly back home after a couple days to be with the other kids while I wait out the time for all the paperwork to clear, usually about 2 weeks. We did find out yesterday that we have some great friends all living right in the area in Florida that we will be going to. Such an exciting time. We still really appreciate your prayers as the journey isn't over yet. We still have a lot of fundraising to do- details coming soon. Also with any childbirth there can be complications and unknown factors.
Please join us in praying for this mom and her baby for an easy and uncomplicated delivery and for health for her and her baby.
Anna made this blanket for the baby all on her own during their quiet time yesterday. The kids are really excited:)
Fast forward to a couple weeks ago. We had another "situation" as they are called. a young 17 year old expecting mom in FL having a baby girl due in October. We presented and waited and prayed and then in a few days heard "No" not us, another family was chosen. We we continued on. Then a few days later we received an email saying that the couple that had been chosen had backed out for some personal reasons. Were we still interested in presenting? We Thought and Prayed about it and decided to go ahead. Then we waited...and waited... and waited... usually you hear back in a few days. This time it was over a week... Then Thursday night we got the news "Yes"! We had been chosen! We are all so excited!!
Now begins a new step of the journey. The baby still isn't "for sure" joining our family. After the expecting mom has her baby, she will then have 24-48 hours to decide if she wants to parent. If at that point she still decides to place her baby for adoption, then we will be the family. At this point our plan is for Troy and I to be at the hospital shortly after the baby is born. If she decides to parent then we would fly back home. If she decides to place her baby with us then Troy would fly back home after a couple days to be with the other kids while I wait out the time for all the paperwork to clear, usually about 2 weeks. We did find out yesterday that we have some great friends all living right in the area in Florida that we will be going to. Such an exciting time. We still really appreciate your prayers as the journey isn't over yet. We still have a lot of fundraising to do- details coming soon. Also with any childbirth there can be complications and unknown factors.
Please join us in praying for this mom and her baby for an easy and uncomplicated delivery and for health for her and her baby.
Anna made this blanket for the baby all on her own during their quiet time yesterday. The kids are really excited:)
Monday, July 22, 2013
My Plans vs. Gods Plans
My plans for this morning were: Drop kids off at Vacation Bible School, come home and clean and organize the playroom. Then baby carrier consult at 10, then clean and finish organizing the playroom before picking the kids up at 12:30. So drop the kids off I get home and a few minutes later I get al call from the woman coming for the baby carrier consult calling to reschedule for tomorrow as her baby was really fussy today. So I was a little bit happy, as I could get more done today. Then a few minutes later got a text from our tenants, in our house that we are selling…that should have closed last month… anyway long story… but they are great people, but the plumbing was backed up and since it was still our house we needed to fix it☹ So now my plans for a clean organized playroom were getting messed up…argh. So called the rotorooter and he could come put in about 30 minutes so loaded Sam up and headed to the other house. Grumpy at my messed up morning and having this unexpected expense…. It was going to take about an hour for him to get done so I figured instead of just sitting there, the lawn needed to be mowed so I decided to put Sam on my back and mow it. I had noticed that in the house next door there was a U-Haul truck and I knew the house was for sale, but then saw the owner and he came over to chat. When we lived there he lived next door with his family. They were always really sweet. After we moved out we kind of lost touch and I haven’t talked with him or seen him in about 4 years. They were jus there today, as he didn’t live there, they were loading up the last of the things there as the house was going on the market today. Long story short, as we were chatting, sharing about how our families were now, he shared that they just found out his 18 year old daughter is pregnant and considering placing her baby for adoption. AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! She is not due until January and no idea if she would even consider our family. She was a really sweet girl when we knew her and sounds like she just as made some different choices since then. I gave him our phone# and said I would be glad to talk with her more. Not sure if anything will come of it or not, but WOW. Wouldn’t it be just like God to take what I thought was something all messed up and use it for a chance meeting for His Glory? Amazed. Feeling much more at peace with our adoption journey. What God has he will provide for us in His time.
Friday, July 19, 2013
Adoption update and Kids with Special Needs
We so appreciate your prayers. Since the last post we have presented a few times and heard no each time. We are waiting right now to hear from another mom considering our family. So hard each time to not get your hopes up. I feel as if each time when I start praying for this mom and baby there is a heart connection made on some level wether you mean to or not. So each time there is a no it is hard even if you are trying not to get attached. Really in our journey it hasn't been that long all things considered. We appreciate your continued prayers for all this process.
On a brighter note I wanted to share about what I have been witnessing in regards to kids with special needs being adopted. There is a great adoption group I am a part of full of families homestudy ready with a heart for special needs kids. We are possibly open to mild or correctable needs. Fairly often there are posts with babies and kids with a wide range of special needs. From genetic conditions, to total care, from moderate to severe challenges. Every one I have seen posted has been almost immediately followed by a flurry of posts from families asking to be considered for placement of that child. It is such an amazing beautiful thing to witness. It has filled my heart with joy to see the love and caring each of these families is willing to show. I think in our culture there is this prevalent thought that children born with special needs will be unloved, unwanted. Just being a part of this smaller group of families has shown me just the opposite. All children are a blessing, all are loved and wanted. If you are reading this as a homestudy ready family and are interested in special needs adoption please contact me for details on this group.
On a brighter note I wanted to share about what I have been witnessing in regards to kids with special needs being adopted. There is a great adoption group I am a part of full of families homestudy ready with a heart for special needs kids. We are possibly open to mild or correctable needs. Fairly often there are posts with babies and kids with a wide range of special needs. From genetic conditions, to total care, from moderate to severe challenges. Every one I have seen posted has been almost immediately followed by a flurry of posts from families asking to be considered for placement of that child. It is such an amazing beautiful thing to witness. It has filled my heart with joy to see the love and caring each of these families is willing to show. I think in our culture there is this prevalent thought that children born with special needs will be unloved, unwanted. Just being a part of this smaller group of families has shown me just the opposite. All children are a blessing, all are loved and wanted. If you are reading this as a homestudy ready family and are interested in special needs adoption please contact me for details on this group.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Update:)
** Adoption Update* Prayers appreciated... So for us, This is the way Domestic Adoption works. We have applied with multiple agencies as we have a couple "dings" against us in that we have a smaller adoption budget,(Believe it of not in The US adoptions can go as high as $75k, with most averaging around $40-$45k. We have a smaller budget so there are many "situations" (the term for moms who have an adoption plan in place and need to choose a family to place them with) that we can't even consider. And some moms wont consider placing their child in a home with existing kids which would be us as well. So applying with multiple agencies that had no up front costs was what we decided on as it would provide us the most opertunities to be shown to moms. So now we are in the process of waiting and having our profile shown.
It works like this- we get an email saying there is this mom due x, these are the health concerns if any, she did/didn't use drugs/alcohol, this is the estimated cost. Then we pray and decide if we want to have our profile and pictures shown to this mom. Then if yes, she is shown our profile along with a handful of other families who also have said yes to being shown. At this point if she chooses us then we are "matched" and we are committed to her and her child. At this point we also have to start paying some pretty big fees. Some of the scary part is that Mom can still change her mind, which she should have the right to, but if that happend at any point until papers are signed after the birth then we loose all the money we have paid for her expenses, housing, food etc...So we really appreciate your prayers for wisdom in this process as so much is in Gods hands...
Last week we found out about a mom due in October. She was having an ultrasound later in the week for more information. We requested information multiple times, but heard nothing back so we have assumed she had changed her mind and decided to parent. Today we heard she is going to be looking at our profile if we are interested by thursday. We also found out today about a mom due in september who we may also be interested in presenting to, but she is looking at profiles this week probably also. We can't present to 2 moms at the same time as that wouldn't be fair to them. so really would appreciate your prayers for wisdom and discernment.
We also need to be planing some big fundraisers- if anyone has an idea please let me know:)
It works like this- we get an email saying there is this mom due x, these are the health concerns if any, she did/didn't use drugs/alcohol, this is the estimated cost. Then we pray and decide if we want to have our profile and pictures shown to this mom. Then if yes, she is shown our profile along with a handful of other families who also have said yes to being shown. At this point if she chooses us then we are "matched" and we are committed to her and her child. At this point we also have to start paying some pretty big fees. Some of the scary part is that Mom can still change her mind, which she should have the right to, but if that happend at any point until papers are signed after the birth then we loose all the money we have paid for her expenses, housing, food etc...So we really appreciate your prayers for wisdom in this process as so much is in Gods hands...
Last week we found out about a mom due in October. She was having an ultrasound later in the week for more information. We requested information multiple times, but heard nothing back so we have assumed she had changed her mind and decided to parent. Today we heard she is going to be looking at our profile if we are interested by thursday. We also found out today about a mom due in september who we may also be interested in presenting to, but she is looking at profiles this week probably also. We can't present to 2 moms at the same time as that wouldn't be fair to them. so really would appreciate your prayers for wisdom and discernment.
We also need to be planing some big fundraisers- if anyone has an idea please let me know:)
Monday, June 10, 2013
Look what we have been up to this weekend...
We made this short video to talk about our adoption plans and how you can help.
Friday, June 7, 2013
Adoption Fundraiser Poster based on "Our 24 Family Ways" by The Clarksons
Our family in the midst of adopting an infant in the US. At this point we have completed our homestudy and are in the process of waiting to be matched with a child in need of a family. This is one of the craziest and hardest aspects I believe. We could get a call today, or in 2 years it is such a big unknown and such an exciting event all rolled into one. We could be matched with a baby already born and have to pack up our whole family of 7 and leave the next day, or we could be matched with a mom still pregnant and have some time to prepare for a coming due date. We would so appreciate your prayers. I know God is in control and when there is a baby that is the child for us it will be the right time. Just learning to trust in the waiting.
In this time of waiting I am trying to focus more on fundraising for our adoption. Even before the normal "big" expenses of adopting that happen when we are matched and then finalized we still have our homestudy and other misc. expenses: postage, copies, fingerprinting, etc so far it is totaling over $5000. We are planning a few fundraisers. We are selling rice sacks/heat packs/cool packs- (see our previous post for details). We also have another great fundraiser I am SO excited about.
I have personally been greatly encouraged in Godly mothering through the books and Ministry of Sally Clarkson. So much so that last year, after attending one of her Momheart confrences, I began to hold a monthly Momheart group in my home to encourage other local moms as well. This year we are going through the book "The Mission of Motherhood" an AMAZING book to bless any mom. Troy and I have been using the book "Our 24 Family Ways" by Sally and Clay Clarkson. It is a wonderful book with practical wisdom for training kids in the way they should go.
There are two options
- For your suggested donation of $10 you will receive a digital image you can print into a poster sized print to hang in the wall as a daily reminder for you and your family. You should be able to print them at your local Costco or Sams Club for around $10.
or
- If you would rather have one printed and shipped directly to you we ask a donation of $40 and please include your shipping address with your payment. Then we will have the poster printed and shipped directly to you.
If you have any trouble ordering please email me at lorene@frogmama.com
** Update 06/12/13 all posters ordered so far are shipping today. Thanks you so much for your support- we are still taking orders for more:)
In this time of waiting I am trying to focus more on fundraising for our adoption. Even before the normal "big" expenses of adopting that happen when we are matched and then finalized we still have our homestudy and other misc. expenses: postage, copies, fingerprinting, etc so far it is totaling over $5000. We are planning a few fundraisers. We are selling rice sacks/heat packs/cool packs- (see our previous post for details). We also have another great fundraiser I am SO excited about.
I have personally been greatly encouraged in Godly mothering through the books and Ministry of Sally Clarkson. So much so that last year, after attending one of her Momheart confrences, I began to hold a monthly Momheart group in my home to encourage other local moms as well. This year we are going through the book "The Mission of Motherhood" an AMAZING book to bless any mom. Troy and I have been using the book "Our 24 Family Ways" by Sally and Clay Clarkson. It is a wonderful book with practical wisdom for training kids in the way they should go.
There are two options
- For your suggested donation of $10 you will receive a digital image you can print into a poster sized print to hang in the wall as a daily reminder for you and your family. You should be able to print them at your local Costco or Sams Club for around $10.
or
- If you would rather have one printed and shipped directly to you we ask a donation of $40 and please include your shipping address with your payment. Then we will have the poster printed and shipped directly to you.
If you have any trouble ordering please email me at lorene@frogmama.com
** Update 06/12/13 all posters ordered so far are shipping today. Thanks you so much for your support- we are still taking orders for more:)
Friday, April 26, 2013
Neck warmers, cool packs available now! Support a great cause!
We selling rice neck warmers/heat/cold packs. There are two scents available. Lavender and Lemon Eucalyptus. We also have smaller boo boo bags for kids or smaller areas, they are 2 for $10. These rice bags are great for the freezer for a cold pack when you have a sore spot or for a forehead when you have a fever. They are also microwavable for heatpacks. We are asking for a suggested donation amount of $10 each and they are handmade by our friends and family. If you are local you can pick them up or we are happy to ship them. Shipping is $6 for each one. If you would like to order one or 10 and have them shipped you can just go through the donate button and make a note there how many you would like. There are a variety of prints available you can choose from if you pick up locally. If shipping them we will choose a variety for you. These make great Christmas gifts and Christmas will be here before you know it. If you are local and would like to just pay us directly instead of through paypal please just call me to set up a time to come by. (530)921-8855 Here are some examples of some of the available fabrics:)
Thursday, April 18, 2013
A few more details now...
I have, for a very long time wanted to adopt. I remember as a child hearing stories of orphans who needed a family and feeling like someday I should adopt. Then fast forward quite a few years... Get married to a wonderful husband, have 5 amazing kids... still in the back of my mind was this thought of adoption. About a year ago we had a family photo session done for our Christmas cards. We had a bunch of cute pictures of the kids so I bought a couple collage frames to display them all in the living room. Turned out that when I ordered prints and filled the frame I ended up with one empty frame. Months passed and I never remembered to order an extra copy of one. So every day I pass these pictures of our family with one picture missing....
One day I jokingly said to Troy, maybe that empty picture frame is for our adopted child....
Fast forward another year and a half or so after much prayer and conversation to today. We are just about done with our homestudy towards Domestic Minority Adoption (In the US, not a Caucasian baby).We had our final homestudy interview today and Troy and I went over individually pretty much our life story. In thinking about it afterwards, I noticed how many times I had said "faithful" during the conversation. At our wedding we sang the hymn "Great is they Faithfulness" and God has shown over and over again to us just how faithful He is. This interview today was seperate from the kids so they didn't hear what we were saying. A bit later the Social worker was asking the kids about how they felt about adopting. She asked if they had any thoughts on what we should name the new child. Anna said "we should name her Anna:)" and John said we should name him John:). Then Lydia spoke up and said we should name her "Faithful". I said that was sweet, but then it didn't really hit me until a bit later the connection to everything I had been thinking during my previous conversation. I really feel that that will be part of our new child's name in some way "Faith" to honor a God who has time and time again been so faithful.
We LOVE kids and feel they are a blessing and are so excited about the possibility of adding another life to our family. The craziest thing about this whole adoption process at this point is the financial aspect. It still seems outrageous to charge so much money, when there are so many children needing homes. But that is the way it is, but we know God will be faithful to provide. So we are starting fundraising at this point in a few ways.
If you feel led there is a donate button to the side where you can directly donate any amount towards our adoption fund.
If you or anyone you know needs a great baby carrier, all profits from our business www.frogmama.com are going directly to the adoption fund.
We also are going to be selling rice neck warmers/heat/cold packs. There are two scents available. Lavender and Lemon Eucalyptus. We also are making smaller boo boo bags for kids or smaller areas. they are 2 for $10. These rice bags are great for the freezer for a cold pack when you have a sore spot or for a forehead when you have a fever. They are also microwavable for heatpacks. We are asking for a suggested donation amount of $10 each and they are handmade by our friends and family. If you are local you can pick them up or we are happy to ship them. Shipping is $6 for each one. If you would like to order one or 10 and have them shipped you can just go through the donate button and make a note there how many you would like. There are a variety of prints available you can choose from if you pick up locally. If shipping them we will choose a variety for you. These make great Christmas gifts and Christmas will be here before you know it. If you are local and would like to just pay us directly instead of through paypal please just call me to set up a time to come by. (530)921-8855 Here are the kids hard at work cutting out the fabric to make them:)
Thank you all for your support. We also really appreciate all your prayers during this time. If you have any other ideas or suggestions for fundraisers please let us know.
One day I jokingly said to Troy, maybe that empty picture frame is for our adopted child....
Fast forward another year and a half or so after much prayer and conversation to today. We are just about done with our homestudy towards Domestic Minority Adoption (In the US, not a Caucasian baby).We had our final homestudy interview today and Troy and I went over individually pretty much our life story. In thinking about it afterwards, I noticed how many times I had said "faithful" during the conversation. At our wedding we sang the hymn "Great is they Faithfulness" and God has shown over and over again to us just how faithful He is. This interview today was seperate from the kids so they didn't hear what we were saying. A bit later the Social worker was asking the kids about how they felt about adopting. She asked if they had any thoughts on what we should name the new child. Anna said "we should name her Anna:)" and John said we should name him John:). Then Lydia spoke up and said we should name her "Faithful". I said that was sweet, but then it didn't really hit me until a bit later the connection to everything I had been thinking during my previous conversation. I really feel that that will be part of our new child's name in some way "Faith" to honor a God who has time and time again been so faithful.
We LOVE kids and feel they are a blessing and are so excited about the possibility of adding another life to our family. The craziest thing about this whole adoption process at this point is the financial aspect. It still seems outrageous to charge so much money, when there are so many children needing homes. But that is the way it is, but we know God will be faithful to provide. So we are starting fundraising at this point in a few ways.
If you feel led there is a donate button to the side where you can directly donate any amount towards our adoption fund.
If you or anyone you know needs a great baby carrier, all profits from our business www.frogmama.com are going directly to the adoption fund.
We also are going to be selling rice neck warmers/heat/cold packs. There are two scents available. Lavender and Lemon Eucalyptus. We also are making smaller boo boo bags for kids or smaller areas. they are 2 for $10. These rice bags are great for the freezer for a cold pack when you have a sore spot or for a forehead when you have a fever. They are also microwavable for heatpacks. We are asking for a suggested donation amount of $10 each and they are handmade by our friends and family. If you are local you can pick them up or we are happy to ship them. Shipping is $6 for each one. If you would like to order one or 10 and have them shipped you can just go through the donate button and make a note there how many you would like. There are a variety of prints available you can choose from if you pick up locally. If shipping them we will choose a variety for you. These make great Christmas gifts and Christmas will be here before you know it. If you are local and would like to just pay us directly instead of through paypal please just call me to set up a time to come by. (530)921-8855 Here are the kids hard at work cutting out the fabric to make them:)
Thank you all for your support. We also really appreciate all your prayers during this time. If you have any other ideas or suggestions for fundraisers please let us know.
Friday, March 22, 2013
We are adopting!!
In case you haven't heard yet WE ARE ADOPTING!! well kind of... well not today... But we have started the process. we are in the midst of our homestudy and the bills are piling in already. regardless of my feelings on all the bills... (that could ba a long lengthy post in itself) they are here and they will be increasing. This is a huge step of faith for us as there is no way on our own I can imagine paying for all of this in our own strength, our own doings.... So we will be doing various fundraisers and will post details here and on facebook, but for now just know how much we appreciate your prayers for this journey. I will be sharing more details as time goes on. If you have ideas for fundraising we would love to hear them. All profits from our Frogmama.com business will be going to the fund as well. Thanks everyone!
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